No I can't do it here. There are too many people it would hurt so I have to stay until it's my time to go. I only want to kill myself, not end other p...oples lives. Diary maybe you can't give me the answers but I wish someone could. I have never had a time in my life where I haven't had a good memory...But that's all it ever is; a memory. Nothing solid or right in front of me. I can remember times I had laughed and what not. Tried to be a good and faithful best friend. Tried to find a way to. ’ He dug into his bag and produced a folder of carefully rendered, decidedly PG sketches. He realized that his hands were shaking and desperately willed them to stop, but the rebellious appendages just kept quivering. The old man (presumably some sort of editor) took the papers and gave them the same placid, unreadable glance that he had the more explicit drawings. ‘Do you understand the job you’re applying for, Mister Ozaki?’ ‘Well, as I said, uh, actually I didn’t say but I should have, my. It was those dreams of his that consumed him.As with the songs from his dreams, sometimes he remembered them easily for a while and could sing or recount the dreams if asked. Other times they were gone quickly as snow falling on a blacksmith's forge. He would hum part of it for a while repeatedly before he gave up and stopped trying to recall it.Christian was still trying to figure out what a "lectric shave" was supposed to be the boy once talked about and god knows he thought the boy would. Riding a cock and kissing a woman for the first time.We would go to another swinger club...my second time. This time I had another new experience. We met a couple and the female eventually are my pussy. First time I had a female go down on me. That by itself was a new experience...but had another one as well. My man and the other guy got blow jobs by me at the same time. Now here I am getting my pussy eaten out and blowing my man and the other guy at the same time. I never blew guys at the same.