?He looks at me as if I were an angel, his childhood hero, a feared,domineering father and his own personal god made hard, thrusting, insatiableflesh....I realise suddenlythat he is desperate to belong, desperate to please, desperate to be owned -desperate to be loved.? In all his timehere, I realise - all the pain, the beatings, the degradation, the sexualhumiliation and abuse - when have any of us rewarded him with affection orpraise? ?I've watched him scream, weep,beg, grovel, sob; I've seen. “Unless you want me to pee myself, yes.”He nodded his head toward the bathroom as a sign of permission and I stood up and walked to the bathroom. “Be naked when you come back out,” I heard him yell as I shut the door.I did truly need to go to the bathroom and I pulled down my pants and sat on the toilet, trying to determine my next steps. I noticed a mirror on the sink counter with a line of cocaine on it. There was always cocaine sitting around at Conch’s. I grabbed the mirror and snorted. The route took me out into the river valley and up into the hills, crossing fields now ploughed after the harvest, and though woodland. The trees were starting to turn gold, and as I reached one stretch of beech woodland, the light filtering through the trees also was gold. I’d just climbed up quite a steep path into the woods, and seeing a patch of ground in the sunlight, I sat for a while and drank some water from my bottle. It was so peaceful, just the sound of the breeze through the. "I've just ... I'm married..." He's not here." Don sat down next to her. She looked down at her ring finger; he really wasn't here. "How many men have you been with?" Vanessa looked down and closed her eyes."Only my husband." Don laughed loudly."How do you know if the sex is good if he's the only one you've been with?" I love him, and I love having sex with him," she said tersely. "My life with him is perfect." Then why are you here?" Vanessa hung her head again."Because I have to be." Don.