She too was supping back her cuppa like it was a life-saving antidote - she looked knackered, but happy. Our eyes met, and she smiled - a slightly ner...ous smile, but also a very intimate one to acknowledge that we had just shared something special."Are you okay, my darling? I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm so sorry if I have done, you know that I wouldn't hurt you for the world."She giggled. That was a good sign, and even my addled brain recognised that and reduced the rate of my nervously beating. Lighting it. Have you ever been in love with someone and no matter what you cant stop loving them I asked. He blew out smoke before looking at me. Yes, when I said I had fallen in love twice. You didnt ask who the other person was he said catching on. Well you used to say you loved me I said, answering his question. He blew out more smoke. Still do he said, his brown eyes locking with mine. He wore a black beany, black skinny jeans and a band t-shirt. What ballshit! I said, I knew he had run. "You see?"I did. So much more was clear to me now, and I decided that I would enjoythis special day to the fullest. I felt briefly like I was cheating onNicki in some way, by not telling her about my desires. I don't know howshe would react, and I didn't want to wreck what I had. But I realized,sitting there in my feminine persona, released at last, that I would needto someday. But, today, I party.The girls offered me two shoes, one set of nice flats, one low heeledsandal-type. Since I had no. They had me, Charlotte, and Brittany be the flyers. We had more experience than the freshmen, but were smaller than the juniors and other girls.For the first time since we moved here to America, I was having the time of my life.The party.We had finally made it through our first week of sophomore year!When Charlotte dropped Brittany and I off at our houses, I was really starting to miss France. I mean, I was literally forgetting everyone from there. Sure, their pictures still covered my bulletin.