I suppose Joe went this way too, but I'm not so down on myself, now that I've seen it for real. I'm thinking it's just as good, cause if I'm honest w...th myself I'll have to admit that sooner or later Joe was going to be either eaten or a prick anyway. Why not remember him when he was a better person, and more of a contributor than a taker, if you can see the angle. I've been beating myself up for nothing all these years.You know, it's been almost an hour. I don't know how you can handle all. "Stop waving your arms and talking so much. You're acting like a sissy."Amy wasn't real excited the way her son sometimes acted effeminately, butfelt that drawing attention to him would not be appropriate. Naturally,she spoke out in defense but Jake would have none of that."Faggots make me sick." Jake shook his head as he pointed a finger at theboy. After that, Jake had not been interested in taking on the role ofsurrogate father. That was the last time the two men in her life spoke to each. I went downstairs and gave Gwen half of the money. She refused, but did eventually accept 'half a crown' which was 25% in their crazy 'limey' money. I went to bed and had what the Brit's call a 'good ol' wank' wondering what tomorrow at 9 pm would bring. Lucy came over just before 9.30 pm the following night. She was a chatty girl who had obviously stopped off at the pub for a G&T first. We went up stairs and I gave her a pair of tan hose in the size she requested. She too put them on but was. I peek out the window and see Tara's car. It's nice that Mum's making up for lost time.I step quietly to the loo, then to my bedroom. I strip off my work clothes, including my soaked knickers (thanks to Lydia!).I lie naked on the bed and check my phone for messages. Just one, from Lydia: "I can't wait to make love with you for real."I reply, "It's what I want so much too."I close my eyes and remember her pretty face and her delicious little boobs. My hands start doing what I want to do for her..