He was getting tall and I had to admit filling out quite well. He gave me a shy smile his ruffled hair needing a good comb. I refrained from the mothe...ly instinct to tell him that."Hi Darling happy birthday."He nodded looking over his shoulder."Oh hi Debbie," he said a little horse. "My mums out."I fixed him a stern stare. "Auntie Debbie, please sweetie," I chastised him stepping in the house.He gulped and moved aside.His dopey mother was indeed out and the young man placed his hands in his. Now what is going on?Just then my Mom and a doctor walked in all smiles happy to see I wasawake. The doctor announced it was time and he gave me two shots. I gotreally sleepy and all I could see is my Mom smiling and her saying don'tworry sweetie the doctor is here to help you, don't fight it.They put earphones on my head and a very soft voice started talking tome. The voice, message was so pleasant, so nice, she really relaxed me.I heard Mom voice telling me to close my eye and enjoy my. AND you knew it would turn him on, didn’t you?”I sighed. “Yeah, I did.”“And let’s not forget about your persistent need to be punished and hurt. You hide it well, mostly, but it’s always there, isn’t it?”“Yes,” I reluctantly admitted. “It is.”“So, did he or did he not give you what exactly you wanted, what you’ve been desperately looking for, for practically ever?”I nodded slowly (knowing she couldn’t see me, but still…).“And, outside of the sex-play you were both doing, was he, or was he not,. (pretty awful huh?)And basically I don't know what to say to you. What? Do you want to use me? is that what I should say? I hate this feeling: it's making me feel like a complete fool.========/Hi there, I suppose making you squirm or feel foolish is quite what I want.It does not sound "awful" I have known several women who have the same thoughts that you describe.On the contrary I find them quite appealing and I think that you are fortunate to be able to acknowledge them. Indeed I would love to.