We would mark each day on the John Deere calendar. Sometimes a month. We kept all the old calendars. They told about our Dad. How long he was gone. Wh...n he came back. This time, from Independence Day to Labor Day... the longest ever from reading the calendars (our poor man's Farmer's almanac) we decided after talking, discoursing, arguing that Dad was gone... forever. But we watched for him for a long time after that.We found in the barn, in the loft, a box of books, mother's books. Eclectic.. I tried to tell her lets quit playing but she said NO so I slowly pulled them off and kept my hands in my lap but she made me stand up and turn around as she examined me with her eyes. Then the game took a turn for the worse, she said all or nothing, whoever lost had to do what the other told her to do, I didn’t want to but said OK. I figured I lost three in a row and it was her turn, guess what, I lost a fourth time and I almost started to cry. She told me to lay on my back and I had to rub. From the description of some of the boy’s things I didn’t see how one of those could possibly go inside me. I had of course discovered my clitoris and had been guiltily masturbating quite regularly but it was obvious that anything larger than my finger was not practicable, especially the huge things the girls were boasting about.A lot of the talk was about how to enjoy boys without getting pregnant. The favourite method seem to be letting the boy use his fingers between your legs and then put. But the cousin then moved to mom pulled mom up and took off all of moms cloths, mom did not resist him and even my 2 friends were looking at moms body .Mom then sat on the chair all nude now, she tried to cover her boobs with her hands but the cousin pushed moms hands away for my 2 friends to see mom. They then continued playing the game.Again when they played mom lose the game, and this time the cousin pulled mom up and made mom stand facing the wall with her hands up on the wall and he spread.