OK." I said uncertainly. "She said there was no point in me waiting, you know? So when we got into bed, she was like 'I'll probably be asleep soon so ...ou might as well go on over'. It was... awkward." "That's... that's good." I said, "Not the awkward part but... I'm glad she's taking this so well. I mean, we did lie to her for months." "Yeah... But she seems... I don't know, weirdly supportive of the whole thing." she said. We both looked away, and were silent for a few seconds. "So anyway." I. "Charlene spoke next, saying, "I can't say that I'm all that attracted to you, Steve, but you act like a guy that will be good in bed, and I'd like a chance to show you that I'm no slouch either. I want to have a clone of the baby I would have had with my husband; but I need some physical love too. I think we can be what the kids have been calling friends-with-benefits, if you can find it in your heart to accept me."Steve said, "If Ed will forgive me for including Camile in this, I can tell you. " I did so, not quite knowing why, "My hand is there too. I wish it felt warm." Maxie?"One knock for yes."Thank you." And then I lost the grip on consciousness I didn't know I'd been holding.I dreamt him dead again. In the dream I walk down the steps to the Hyde Park toilets, my best leather brogues clattering noisesomly on the tiles as I descend, a skip and a hop. I got to urinal, empty white porcelain, the air thick with bleach over washed with floral scents that do nothing for the nose. I. We are special together."I let Lisa stay snuggled in my lap until Julie walked into the kitchen. She said, "Did I hear your phone ring this morning?"Julie had to be told the entire story, and after giving Lisa and me a kiss and hug, she left to get ready to go to the patio. Girl after girl, or should I say woman after woman, came in for a hug and kiss while Lisa remained in my lap. When Tiani came in with Taiying and Sing, she pulled Lisa off my lap and said, "Don't be a lap hog. We three need.