The pool chairs and common areas were dirty as well. It took me a week to muster the courage to go out to the pool as I was dreading meeting new peopl.... I made sure to lay my towel down over the chair as there were brown stains all over it. Even though I had returned to work, my shifts were reduced. It was not ideal as they had taken away my Saturday night shifts when I made most of my money. The upside is I could now spend my Saturday afternoons at the pool. I was wearing my favorite purple. We entered the study/library. To me it was a wondrous place, filled with fine old books and pieces of original art. I went around and sat in the Masters chair behind the desk, and had him kneel before me.Turning to Aksana I said, "Would you please fetch the others, my Dear?" Yes, John."I studied the man kneeling in front of me. He was filled with hatred to his very core. It was very evident to me that he would always be a threat to Aksana and me.I opened myself to his thoughts, and saw a. Passionately. I looked into her eyes and saw there a passion which mirrored my own. That’s when I knew. I loved this woman. And I told her, right then and there. Patricia told me that she loved me too, but she wasn’t sure if a relationship with me was a good idea. I was crushed. How could she say that? Patricia told me that she vowed to herself that she would never get involved with a Muslim guy like her sister, that she wouldn’t end up one of these repressed women wearing the veil and saying. A little tender, maybe. I ponder all I felt when I left my house after Ethan and I fucked. I was mad at him. And I can’t believe how out of control I let myself get about it. Was it because of the fight Nicole and I had? I was furious with her. She doesn’t know how much I’ve beat myself up for the things I’ve done. I was just starting to forgive myself. And now, to add to that, I need to think about how I took it out on Ethan. I care for him a lot, I’d never want to hurt him. Physically or.