The thin barrel and handles of the Steyr made it look more like a toy than a weapon. For all the good it did that day, it might as well have been. I r...member hating it in that moment. That worthless, fucking thing! It was nothing more than a symbol of my impotence. I began to shake. It was far too great a responsibility for me to bear. I was only nineteen for fuck’s sake. I don’t know how I held it together. But I couldn’t any longer. I began to cry. My face flushed with heat and humiliation.. .well you know.You really should have checked this place better before you did anythingnaughty.Sure, Jess and Sam were still at the lifeguard stand, but you know I takemy breaks in here too. And on these long, hot, wet days during rainyseason, nobody cares if the break stretches a little.You walked in, all soggy and frustrated from staring at that empty lakefor hours on end, and let out the cutest little sigh.I almost said something then to let you know I was in here too, butsomething stopped. She asked me if I would be willing to take some glamour shots of her. I of course said I would be happy to and didn’t give it too much thought. “I will text her and see when is best for her. Her name is Jill by the way.” Ashley said somewhat excited that I had agreed. I had pretty much forgotten about our earlier conversation until Saturday evening about an hour before closing. The last appointment arrived and she was absolutely gorgeous. WOW. This woman was stunning with captivating green. A boyfriend would feel entitled to make demands on my time, on my attention, to have some say in the relationship. What did I need that for when I could get everything I wanted at no cost?Maybe this wasn't love and forever after; maybe it was just infatuation. Perhaps I had just been caught up in the moment. It was a most excellent moment to be sure, but a moment nonetheless.I loved being with Jeff, but I could do that whenever I wanted without having to make any kind of commitment.Well, maybe.