Nothing mattered. I felt content; I dreamed vivid poppy-dreams. With Ben's connections and the money ever ready at my disposal, it would be so very ea...y to get more, to insulate myself forever against real life and the future.Against this, my only defence was a raw nihilistic need for sexual degradation. Not much of a contest. In a life stripped of love, and almost entirely of relationships, the balance of my mind was now teetering on the very edge of complete self-destruction. It got so bad,. She said yes and went inside and I went home and thought of her till I fell asleep. 2nd dateWe made a plan to go olive garden. I picked her up and she looked stunning. She had a medium skirt with a tube top to show off her nice tits. I did the same thing, open the door for her and kiss her on the lips. We got there and we sat down. I looked in her eyes and I asked her out. She said yes and we both smiled then we kissed. We ordered our food and ate and we left. We got to her house and we started. Laal gaal aur surkh hoth aise lagte the jaise ki lipistik lagaay ho par wo kabhi bhi lipistik ka istmaal nahi karti thi khair hum log saath saath hi pade the par usko dekh kar kabhi bhi mere dil me uske liye koi galat vichaar nahi aaya aur kuch din baad hi uski saadi ho gayi saadi ke 6 month baad wo jab waapas ghar aayi to aur bhi kamaal ki ho gayi thi uski choochi jo kabhi bahut choti hua karti thi ab bilkul shape me aa gayi thi aur uski gaand ka ubhaar bhi salwaar ke upar se kahar dha deta. Was enslaving and fucking girls together what my father hoped to achieve if the twins had done whatever he had asked them to do? I never understood what exactly he had told them he wanted. My mom would just say it wasn’t important.I still didn’t trust him not to try and corrupt me, but I didn’t believe he was doing it out of malice. I felt a little guilty of how my emotions about him kept rubberbanding between eager enthusiasm to spend time with him and a sort of detached disgust about what he.