First I would most likely end up a basket case. Wanting and needing something that I know I can never have again, or maybe I would have to give up the...only life I knew and start all over again and all alone. I would be outside the church and all alone. I just knew that was out of the question. Then of course maybe I would end up having sex in secret with a man or men if I was lucky. But then I knew that was also out of the question, Oh not because I didn't want to, but because I did not know. " She laughed. Nicole crouched down and opened the tine of paint, she poured it in the trays and covered the tin again. After about forty minutes of painting Karly got thirsty, seeing Nicole like this was also making her get a dry throat. "You want some water?" she asked as she started towards the door. "Yeah, please.." Nicole answered working hard on her side of the wall. Karly went to the kitchen and came back up stairs with two glasses of water, as she came in she realized how hot and stuffy. After a few hours I went to her and said ”i am sorry mom I won’t repeat this mistake again, but that book was my friend’s. So pls give to me I would return it to him”. Mom at once after hearing it said that she had put it on fire out of anger. I know that she would have not done that but was little afraid to speak to her about this.We ate together and said her good night and went to sleep. My mind was in confusion that whether she would have burned that book or it was with her. I don’t know. "Are you thinking seriously of taking one of them?"I nodded. "Yes -- although without your great-grandmother pitching for them, we would never have gotten this far. It is a sad thing that she is too old to bear more children, frankly." What should I do?" he asked."Demand service from your grandmother," I replied. "I played games with her last night; she only got to service me orally. Perhaps that was a mistake; she probably feels that either she is not yet obligated, or that her obligation is.