As I walked back to the living room I realized I hadn’t updated my journal in over a week, so I fired up my Apple II and typed in several pages wort... of text.I decided that rather than read my book, I’d read some of my old journal entries. When I did that, I was appalled. I hadn’t gone back and read some of the stuff I’d written when I was fourteen in quite some time. And I realized that what Jennifer had told me had been the unvarnished truth — that I was a needy, whiney, angst-ridden,. You wouldn’t have sucked that guy’s cock on your own but because you were submitting, and getting turned on by submitting, you obeyed. It didn’t matter if it was a cock you were sucking or a pussy you were licking. The turn on was submitting and humiliation.”I never thought of it that way. It made sense to me as he explained it. The spanking I got was what turned me on and someone controlling me. I said, “I didn’t think of that way. Maybe you are right. It sure is a load off my mind.. ...more if she felt horny and stayed back late "working" (as she use to tell her mom, when she got home late).Helen was now fucking any cock that showed up at her motel door. She had realized that the young cocks were great for stamina and lots and lots of cum. But the older cocks were showing her the kinky side of fucking that was getting her horny and turned on even more.The older guys were now coming to the motel room in groups that were getting bigger each day.....first 2-3 but within a. "I'll bet you drive the boys wild with this thing when it is hard," I suggested."It will work just as well on you sweetie," he demanded. "I am going to fuck you like one of my man whores."I have no idea why but a wave of excitement ran through me. I looked up into his eyes, then covered his penis with my mouth. I sucked it in, since it was too soft for him to fuck even my mouth. I rolled his slightly harder penis around in my mouth using my tongue until it was hard enough for him to stroke me.