It was the first time he'd done those kinds of chores for himself since Mouse had moved in. When he was finished, he went to stand at the eastern wall...and looked out at the pieces of the city still visible through the mist.He'd moved into the space a year and a half before Mouse came along, and in all that time he realized he'd never once turned up the music too loud and danced alone. He realized everyone else in his life was associated with his work somehow, and she was as close as he had to a. The level of excitement made static posing an impossibility, so Cal gave Jean one camera while he took another, and they shot many rolls of impromptu shots. Cal just watched Jean for a while and was impressed with the way she treated the camera. It was top-of-the-line, but to Cal, it was just a tool. Jean, however, treated it as a sacred object that she was privileged to touch.Part of Cal's satisfaction with his new assistant was the sense that he was doing something good for people who. Why would you want to see on screen sex when it's right in front of you?I moved to a seat on the back row. In the far corner was a guy wanking and sniffing poppers. Between him and me were two other guys who had their cock in their trousers and were watching the couple. I go there knowing what I want so quickly unbuttoned my jeans and started wanking. Enjoying the show from the couple and the cocks I could see. The black guy fucking the woman started speeding up and her moans showed how much. .. well, predictable, and boring. I don't seem to find that fire, that spark, the breath of life that drives us. I just move from day to day in the same path, a rut that leads to the end of my life. Day after day, I find myself in this park, as if it somehow holds the answers. Sometimes I walk, all afternoon and into the evening, but I always end up back here. I guess I believe the answers are here, but I still haven't decided what the questions are. I need a jolt, something to set my life on a.