.. there were pictures. An assistant coach took them when I started squawking. I'll give you gals out there a little tip: you can't fight a college at...letic organization, so don't even GO there. Before I had a chance to make a case, they were already lining up a case against ME, threatening to expel me for prostitution. The very erotic pictures all seemed to prove them right. I quickly saw the writing on the wall and the whole thing was dropped. Never again, I said. And this time, I made it. I’d read about a man who nearly killed himself by drinking a bottle of Scotch. At my local supermarket I found that they had a special offer on a brand of Irish whiskey I’d never heard of before. Scotch, Irish, what difference would it make? If one bottle wasn’t enough to kill, I needed at least two. Hell, why take chances? I bought five. It wasn’t as though I would need the money any more. The cashier was extremely suspicious and I had to prove I was over twenty one before she’d let me buy. “I can’t believe you did that. You’re just weird,” Allard told me.“You can’t say that,” Dave said, right on cue.That made everyone laugh even harder.Right before the game, Moose gave us his impressions of the Stars. They had a big first baseman who could hit the crap out of a fastball. Everyone was thinking he might be a first-round pick in next year’s Major League Baseball draft. Austin was pitching for us tonight. The Florida kid had some nasty breaking stuff.“I wouldn’t throw him anything. And your lovers?”“I have NO complaints of any kind,” I said.“Are you attracted to me?” she asked.“I think that’s obvious from how I described you before,” I said.“And the fact I have a husband?”“I’m considering my opinion on that at the moment.”“There are actually two things that need to be discussed.”“Birth control and diseases,” I said.“Well, if you’re aware of the topics immediately, then I don’t think there’s an issue. I take pills, but I insist on condoms because neither pills nor condoms.