Right now I need to feel wanted to be told I am wanted, will you help me?' At this point I guess pride and the small part of the male brain called the...'pecker' took over. We discovered another time that Doug had a conference and I arranged to meet Mary at the hotel where the conception occurred. This time I got there first and went directly to the room. I arranged several bouquets of her beloved yellow roses in the room. Then I turned down the bed and closed the blinds leaving only soft lights. I reconnected with James, though I made sure to keep it platonic at first. As time went on, we once again started getting closer.The next time Mike went away found me once again in James’s bed, this time for the duration of Mike’s trip.I was getting over-confident. I was having my cake and eating it, too. I had my loving husband whom I adored; when he was out of town I had James, and nobody was getting hurt.Then James decided to screw things up. He started to get possessive, and wanted more. They almost shine in the darkness. It’s a mistake and I know it. I try to resist it, but I can’t. I reach back behind his head and pull him towards me. His lips feel cold when they touch mine. I kiss him lightly at first, and then I deepen the kiss. He doesn’t hesitate, but he continues to let me lead. Soon we’re going full into the kiss. No hesitations. What the fuck am I doing? I don’t stop. I can’t. He pushes me back onto the bed. I scoot myself up and he follows, his lips never leaving. Dad was reading the Sunday paper and exclaimed that the dead passengersdaughter had at last contacted the policeMy phone call had had the desired effect.I chose some cereal and toast and sat in silence till Mum appeared andasked if I was joining them for church.I replied that I would be doing so and would leave for home after Sundaylunch.After breakfast I went to my bedroom and prepared for church it was anexperience dressing up in my posh frock. I did not plan to dress in thatmanner very.