Thus the long rituals started and Guruji very briefly explained, "Firstwe are doing rituals of washing all your sins and making you pure andvirgin and...then we would be chant mantras of making you a woman and woulddrape you in a traditional saree and then you would become a girl andthen you would be later married to Raj."Guruji chanted a lot of mantras and then a paste of yellow turmericpowder with sandalwood powder was applied to my body and then it waswashed with the holy waters. All my family. One Thursday afternoon around 3 I found myself off work early and at the porn shop. I had never been during the day before so i assumed it wouldnt be busy and at first it wasnt. Around 3:30 you could hear more doors opening up. I looked thru the gloryhole as I told myself I would only jerk a cock off and seen a guy in a work uniform. All I could for sure say it was a guy. I stuck my finger their the hole and rubbed the edge until I felt his cock as i withdrew my fingers another fucking huge. I went into my room and closed the door. I brought out my journal. After sitting there, completely zoned out, for a few minutes, I put the journal away. This was no time for writing. This was a time for soul-searching. And I started throwing out question after question.Exactly what had just happened? And going forward, what did it mean?Why couldn't I shake an irrational worry that was complicating my life to a ridiculous extent? Actually, never mind my life. It was Inez I was worried about. In. I watched my friends disappear as the train rounded a bend and then settled back in my seat.It was odd, but I didn’t have tears in my eyes as I left Göteborg.July 1980, Helsingborg, SwedenI was surprised to see who was on the platform when the train rolled to a stop in Helsingborg. Of course Pia was there, but so were Putte and Kathy. The biggest surprise was Mary Anderberg, who, like Peter, had arrived home the previous weekend. I shook hands with Putte, and both Mary and Kathy hugged me.