I am now in the process of writing themup in a formal, and rather lengthy, monograph, and I beg your indulgenceand pardon that it will not be ready fo... several more months.Towards the end of my sabbatical, I saw my path clear. A quick trip toBangkok, and the hands of a very gifted and understanding surgeon, gaveme the harmony between body and soul which I have craved since childhood.I am at peace."With those words, Cardinal O'Connor ended her testimony, and asked ifthere are any questions that. ''That'll change.''How do you know?''Because I'll make you change. Here,' he handed me the joint. 'Look, I really don't care if you like being a woman or not, but that's what you are now. Your mum's got on now. She's had to. She's a strong woman. She's got a new boyfriend and she's happy with him. He looks after her in a way I couldn't and in a way you definitely couldn't.''I'll tell her.''No you won't. You won't be able to.''What'll stop me?''What's your name?' he sighed.'My name's Honey.... You would need money. You would have no protection in numbers. Why is your life in the circus so bad?" I asked. He puzzled that for a bit."It's him," he said, finally. "He is despicable and lords it over the performers and servants. We are his cocksuckers, as he refers to us. His warriors keep us in line and are a constant threat. And finally..." He stopped and looked at me. "Finally, there is that poor woman. She can't walk, so he makes her crawl on the ground behind him on a leash. He calls. " I know I am not that passable, at least facially," he told her."It's not that, and from behind with the right corset you do lookconvincing enough. The thing is... it's Rebecca herself. I love you forall the things in your character but also for the all of the dreadfulbits that are missing. And as much as that is what is wonderful aboutNeil, then Rebecca has everything that drives me mad." What do you mean?" asked a staggered Neil."I cannot stand Rebecca. She is just awful. A completely.