.. condition," I said quietly."Okay, but so am I," she replied, and I was stunned. She was placingherself in direct competition with me, challenging ...e, and she had neverdone that before."Okay Karen, if that's they way you want it," I said sullenly, and herface took on a completely different expression."No, it's not what you think," she said with an intensity that made meturn back to her."Look, I've tried to be supportive of your career - You know I have.But the new reality is driving me. ?And I was just the sort of man who would help her to achieve it?whethershe would ever be aware of this or not. My methodology is subtle, and I am not a man who takes thatwhich he desires by force.? They must beabsolutely willing to become what I want.?And although at the time I had no intentions of doing otherwise, it wasvery clear to me: She would be my First. The term ?victim? is so boorish it sickens me.? I am a man of principle, and dare not causeharm to come to a beautiful maiden.?. He did whatever he could to ease their pain and help them move on.That was enough for now. He would need to give more thought to his next steps. Tired and depressed, he shut the program off and went to bed. But sleep would not come. Depression makes you tired but prevents sleep. By about one in the morning Jim gave up, got up, put on running clothes and headed out into the darkness.The streets were empty. Fog shrouded the landscape. Street lamps created glowing pools of light; islands in the. She would never tell me about her past, but it wasn't hard to figure it out. She was too damn good in the sack and too experienced to have been a wall flower.I would get a hard-on and masturbate to some of the stories I read. I would picture Helen being with another man or even a woman. Yes, I knew she did it with her girlfriends in college. I brought the subject up to her a couple of times but she always denied it.I want to try to define my situation and feelings. I don't expect people to.