" I agree, David. I think you should start her training without me, I should be able to participate in about a week, but we can't wait that long to st...rt."They spent the next two hours figuring out a plan of attack.It was clear that Ellen still had an attitude, and that she would not break easily. When David came down the next morning, Ellen was not on her kneeling mat as instructed. She was sitting on the bed, wrapped in her thin blanket, with a hateful look on her face."Get your scrawny ass. What am I saying, my mind must be going. I can't like these men. These men are using me for their sexual pleasure, it's just like rape isn't it? (I asked myself) I know, I am going nuts; one minute I love them, the next I can't stand them. Then I thought, no, it's my own vagina betraying me, taking over my body with its own sick sexual desires. GOD, I hated my own vagina right now. What I really hated was, when they all left my room, I still desired more climaxes. I kept asking myself, what had. I began to seek out his companionship rather than spend the effort to be with my husband. He is about five years younger than me and he made me feel younger just by being around him. It just seemed to be the natural next step to be come his lover. At first I felt some guilt but it wasn't long that it felt right and natural. I knew that I was cheating on Mike but I just put all that to the back of my mind and buried it there.This all went on for over a year. Mike did complain to me several times. Mein erstes MalIch wachte in einem Bett auf, das ich nicht kannte, in einem Raum, an denich mich nicht erinnern konnte. Wo zum Geier war ich hier?Ich schaute mich schlaftrunken um: ein Fernseher, eine alte Anbauwand,ein Schreibtisch mit einem Computer darauf. Ich lag auf einer Matratzeneben einem Bett und in dem Bett lag..."Oh mein Gott!", fl?sterte ich.Die Erinnerungen st?rmten schneller auf mich ein, als ich es f?r m?glichgehalten hatte.Ich war 15 und ?bernachtete bei meinem damals besten.