Just then the car stopped and dad shouted "right then, here we are, home for the night, time for some sleep I reckon". My mom looked at me from my lap... winked and got out of the car. I sat there completely unsure of what to do with myself but knowing one thing, that was the best night of my life, and I hadn't even got laid, yet.I sat there on my motel bed in the separate room which my dad had got me, replaying, over and over, the events of that first leg of our car journey home. I couldn't. I needed it sinceid never been with a man before and really wanted to feel a man insideme. i went onto a chat room for men who liked girls with a lil somethingextra. i chatted with a few guys who were just looking to cyber,BORING!!! 3 hours later, i finally found one guy, his name was andy, hewas a local too. we chatted for a while, he said he was hiv positive andhad only been with his partner who left him a month ago. pity. he seemedlike a nice guy. the words he used and descriptions of how he. Each one a different print. Okay, I've established myself as a little weird. Everybody had strange idiosyncrasies. What can I say? I loved that crazy duck!I looked in the mirror. I hadn't seen myself in a full mirror in a while. I evaluated myself. I looked okay but I could use improvement. I couldn't wait until I looked more like a grown man and lost my boyishness.I tried on all my selections. I liked three out of the four. I put my pants back on and exited. I looked around for Jen. I didn't. But it is never that easy, is it? My mother died from cancer a couple months after I turned eighteen, that left me sharing her possessions with her second husband, Alan, the douche, as I used to call him. He had his own company and I couldnt understand why he was accepting his share of my moms inheritance. He was obliging me to share the house my mother built with him, even knowing that I didnt need his support. I never did! Even with my mother being such a dictator I was completely independent.