I also had the unfortunate experience of having it reinforced a whole lot. Now, being an outsider does have a perk or three. One is you learn to watch...behaviour objectively and see how contradictory humans are. Two is as an outsider you can move along the fringes of several different groups without loyalty issues or the politicking.It is bothersome though because it is lonely and you begin to feel as if you belong nowhere. That’s just bad for a human being. We are by nature a social creature.. It was just after 5pm a sleepy Wednesday in Winter. She closed up the shop and began walking away. Bracing herself against the cold air as the daylight faded. She saw him up ahead. He was standing outside a shop. Not quite facing her but clearly waiting.She was not in the mood for this. Her mind raced with thoughts and feelings. She just wanted to get home and relax. But she decided to walk up to him. To give him a minute to speak. “I was just”, he began but stopped. Was it her expression? His. With my hand shaking I picked up the pen and began to copy the contents of Alex’s fax. “My Darling Jane, We have had a lot of discussions of late about our sexual problems or should I say my sexual problems. I am sorry that I am unable to satisfy you sexually and sorry that it is upsetting for you. I know how much you enjoy and need sex. I do love you very much and know that you feel the same way about me even though I am unable to physically satisfy you. It is unfair that you should continue. Also she tied my arms to the sides of the table. She brought this red enema bag and hung it on a metal pole that was close by. She put water in it until it was full and bulging. She lubricated this weird nozzle and put it inside me. Then she pumped it up." A retention nozzle. How did it feel?" OH! I felt like I was already full and had to go! The nurse sort of smiled and then started the enema. After a little bit I asked her to stop and she said it's only two quarts. She didn't stop it at all..