I lay down on the bed and he kneels over me, naked now. He pulls my panties down and moves one of my feet away from the other. I’m embarrassed to ha...e him so close to me, and I try to close my legs again. With both hands, he holds my ankles. “No, baby. You need to keep these open and just relax. It’s going to feel good, trust me.” But I’m scared. I know it’s going to hurt, and I’m scared about what I’m doing. I try to close them again, and he sits up straight. “I know what we can do. Hold on.”. As a fuzzy blackness set upon her, he let go slightly, giving her a delicious reprieve of air before it was taken cruelly away once more. Taking her ring hand in his, he shoved the heavy golden band with his signet upon it into her face, making sure that she got a good look at it as if she could ever forget the cumbersome item. ‘This symbol means that you must obey me, my dear, and I am asking you KINDLY for the last time to tell me where they are!’ His voice was a roar above her as spittle. I could’ve watched her for hours, even years, but that would just be an act of waiting.Don’t wait... I returned to harvesting, carefully and slowly working the next few clumps. At times, tiny crabs would scatter out of the forest, surprised by the flash of the blade. They’d pulse their legs as they shot off to the more permanent safety of the rocks, looking like miniature flying saucers. Occasionally they left a contrail within a school of minnows that seemed to populate the area.It was rather. None of this got any attention as my mother struggled to bring me up and look after dad on her own. Soon the house was in a state of disrepair while dad continued on with his shouting.I didn’t have a happy c***dhood as you can imagine. The only enjoyable times I remember were losing myself in the extensive, overgrown gardens… Jumping forward a bit to the spring of 1981, I was on holiday with my mum staying with her friends in Edinburgh. I remember she was speaking on the phone to the mum of a.