I picked up the bike before they could reach me and pedalled off furiously because I did not want to confront her at that time and I needed to think. ... rode to the cliffs surrounded my town and just sat down and cried because I just did not know how to deal with anything like this I mean come on I was only fifteen fucking years old.Finally I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to go home and I picked up my bike and slowly coasted to my home. I stepped into the house and was. He came to me again and knelt down and said someday I would live in his house. He hugged me to him and kissed me on both cheeks. He then went to Mama and kissed her on the lips as she clung to him. He then mounted his horse and rode away. Papa went down to the Nigra quarters and got drunk. Johnny called me a l'il bastard the next day. I hate him!Mama and Papa are fighting all the time. I go and stay by Mammy when this happens. Mammy belongs to Mama and sleeps with Big Obie. I feel safe with Big. "Do you have any plans for your 18th?" Not really," I reply. "Umm... Probably- probably staying in Cardiff,with my friends and, umm, girlfriend..." Okay," mum says, before smiling genuinely at me for the first time inmany, many years.None of us stay up for much longer after the 'discussion', opting forearly nights instead, though despite this, and how exhausting the day'sbeen, I still struggle to sleep in the house that was once a home, butis now totally alien to me. I'm just thankful I'm not. "It isn't small," Sandy said, still squeezing. She was right. It wasn't nearly as small as it had been, moments earlier."Why do you want to go to a nude beach?" I asked. Not that I had any objection. The prospect of lying on a beach, watching good-looking young women strolling around naked, was beginning to grow on me."Just for future cocktail conversation," Sandy said. "Years from now, we can be standing in somebody's living room with drinks in our hands, and I will be able to casually say,.