She listened with relief as she heard Ricky bouncing down the stairs. She went to the door and pressed her ear to it, straining to hear. She could vag...ely make out Rickys and Shawns voices. When she heard the front door slam, she smiled. After waiting a few more minutes, she unlocked her door and went downstairs to the kitchen. Youre sick, an accusing part of her mind whispered every once in a while. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Havent you done enough already? What are you, a. Who would fu- have sex with someone that looked like me? A fetishist who looks at me and only sees a cow? Oh god. What if it doesn't stop? What if it keeps going and one morning I wake up and I'm just a fat ugly cow on four legs? Would it be worse to still think like a human or to lose myself completely in it? Time passed as Lynn wept on the floor. The sun rose above the horizon and the young woman's tears slowed to a stop. Occasionally, she hiccupped and sighed heavily while staring at a pile. "Yes?" If we get through this -- if we can reach some kind of truce with your Dad," I said."Yes?" I wondered if. Well, I've been thinking about, y'know, maybe asking you if you might -- umm" Jesus, Alex! Spit it out!" I've been thinkingabout-maybeaskingyou-to-maybemarryme?" I blurted."Marry you?" Yeah." So -- are you asking?" Yeah." Now?" Yeah. I mean -- not marrying me now, but asking you now, yes!" OK." OK -- what?" I said. "OK, you understand, or OK, you..." OK, I'd like to marry you, yes!". Should stop there. Quiet part tells me to stop. Loud part wants to know more. Screams in shrill tones in head ‘Thumb open wallet and meet Thomas Coffee.’ Three dollars in the fold, gift certificate to skating rink. Letter with flowery writing signed ‘love, julie’–talks about being in love forever and how beautiful he is to her. Apparently, last two months on school this year were ‘most wonderful two months of my whole life with you’. Picture of Thomas with friends. Picture of girl, no name on.