I blinked a couple of times and then looked at Anna who was still laughing. The little minx had known who her cousin’s husband was and purposely did...’t tell me ahead of time.I hadn’t told Anna about my long-standing admiration of Kit Carson, but she knew I’d heard of him. I had done much more than hear of him though. I had studied him for years. When I was seven, my mother took me to the library introducing me to biographies of great men written for children and the We Were There series of. When he did, I was ready for more shit but I didn't get it."I'm sorry Harry, but in all the years we have known each other, we have never let each other down. I did this morning, and I could have gotten one of the girls killed. You don't know how much this is eating at me. I let you down in the worst way." Preacher, I am not holding a grudge but you have the soldier mind set. Until you finally find someone that means more than your own life, you will never change the way you think and do. I kind of feel guilty because I haven’t gone to see her since last summer. I just don’t think about her as much as I used to.”“Me neither, but she’s always there with me. Always. And I suspect she is with you, too. You can’t have someone that important to you completely disappear from your life, even if they die. The empty hole is still there, and will always be there, it’s just much smaller because other things have helped fill the void, at least to a point. I think that’s part of what. ”“What was it like telling your family?”Karen spoke first. “I thought it was going to go ok telling my folks, my older brother had already come out gay. But I was closer to dad than Matthew was, and he took it hard. Blamed himself for his two boys being ‘faggots,’ as he put it.” Dakota noticed Leslie flinch at the sound of the derogatory term. “Mom dealt with it somewhat better and got us all around the table later that year at Thanksgiving. It was dicey at first. None of us knew what to say,.