Don’t go anywhere. I have to powder my nose.” “Sounded like you might need to oil it too,” he chuckles. She leans in to keep from being hear... by any of the others in the bar, “You’re such an ass sometimes, but I still love ya.” Steven watches her meander off toward the general direction of the ladies room. In the fifteen or so years he’s known her this is the first time he’s ever seen her drunk. Taking a slug from his Miller Lite bottle, he can’t help but admire her firm, round bottom as she. Usually this contained apples, pears or bananas but this week the supermarket were doing a special on clementines so when she accidentally knocked the bowl over the little round oranges skittered across the floor. The sight of her bending down, teetering on her 'spikes' to retrieve them was more riveting even than Manchester United verses Liverpool. 'What are you doing,Love?' She gave him what she hoped was a lascivious smile then turned her back to him as she bobbed down for a clementine by. "I almost laughed and probably would have if it hadn't been so ridiculous. "You asshole. Julie is my sister. Do you think for a minute she can't take that knife from you and shove it down your throat."That was enough to get his attention off me. I came forward just as Julie pushed him away and dropped low. With his attention focused back on me she rolled out of the way and I stepped in.A front snap kick sent the knife flying. I leaned in one step and delivered a spinning back kick. He hit the. Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked.