’ Jessica’s thoughts felt like a needle on a record now, slipping into a groove and traveling along it. Every time she tried to shift her mind out...of the pattern of Exercise One, she spoke the next word, the next phrase, the next sentence, and she found herself returning right back to the inexorable train of logic it contained. ‘So long as we desire, we suffer. Desire is an artifact of the will. So long as we allow ourselves to have will and thought, we will suffer. Suffering is pain. Pain is. .My lover is engaged.And not to me.Let me explain...We met on a "hook-up" app, if you've followed the news over the past year you probably know the one I mean, it's a programme on your phone which lets you see other users nearby and chat to them. I was introduced to it by a gay friend, I think a lot of people were, as a way of meeting new people and having a bit of fun in the process.I work for myself and so often go days without seeing or speaking to a 'real' person actually 'in person' so my. Except for her naked shoulders and face, the remaining body was completely covered by the foam. Her eyes were closed and her head rested on the edge of the bathtub. I walked silently towards her. She opened her eyes and looked at me. I was scared first. But there was no shocking reaction on her face.She looked at me as if I have entered her kitchen when she was cutting vegetables. She knew or at least she hoped that I would come inside the bathroom. She asked me, “What are you doing here?” Her. Ival oru kaama thevathai appozhuthu thaan en nanban avanathu thaaraga manthirathai payan padutha aarambithaan aval oru naal engal veetai thaandi saalaiyil nadanthu selum pozuthu aval arugil sendru suganthi andru oruvar un veetirku vanthu ponaare avar yaar endru ketan?Atharku avan engaluku sonthaakarae endru solli mazhipinaal, nanban appozhuthu naangalukum thaan irukirom engalai veetirku azhaika maatingiraai aanal yavar yavaro vanthu vanthu selugiraargal. Ithai ellam paarukum pozhuthu enakum.