"But you insisted on raising the child yourself, and you knew my plans the day you told me you were pregnant with Devi," said Joseph."I was being brav... then. I don't feel so brave now," said Natty. "I'm feeling more and more like my mother, forced into a life lorded over by an unexpected child and a lack of support in raising her, and she had my grandmother to help. When I look into my mother's eyes, when she tells me she'll help, all I see is disappointment and reluctance. Even my grandmother,. When I told him Bernie wasn't gay, he seemed very relieved. In the end, he told me it really didn't matter. All he wantedwas for all of us to be happy. If Bernie felt more comfortablewearing my clothes, then he'd try to understand and accept him as hefelt he had to be. He also said that he suspected how Bernie feltwhen, a few years ago, Bernie's mother had explained to Jack about howthe two of then liked to play dress up. He had realized then just howdifferent Bernie was. I hugged Jack and. Cmon stay positive, i can do it and if i cant im going to damn well try. but i havent dressed in years, and my voice has become more deep. i still dont grow a full beard but there is plenty of hair on my face. obstacles obstacles...back in my teen days i did a little bit of crossdressing. i would wear my sisters clothes, most was too small even though she was older than me. her underwear were always my favorite! something about wearing sexy lace or a tiny g-string or even a pair of white plain. Horrified, she made her way back to the living room, finished putting everything away, and then headed into the bathroom to take a shower. It was the first time she was able to evaluate the mess she'd made of herself. Her black hair was cropped just below her ears and pink paint was splattered through out it. Fancy Pink streaks also ran down her face. Almost as startling as what she'd done to her underwear, though, was that at some point she had dipped her hands in the paint and smothered her.