I’m not good at guessing sizes really but it looked one and a half times my brush handle size and fatter too. He could see I was enthralled by it an... so asked,“Want to touch it?” OMG did I, so I apprehensively reached out my hand and as I touched it, it sort of jolted upwards taking my breath away and making me pull away my hand as though it was going to bite me. Wayne never laughed at my ignorance but just smiled and said you have to hold it in your hand like this. He wrapped his hand around. They had kept together for some time, when Louisa, meeting an old acquaintance of hers, very cordially gives her companion the drop, and leaves her under the protection of her boy's habit, which was not much, and of her discretion, which was, it seems, still less. Emily, finding herself deserted, sauntered thoughtless about a-while, and, as much for coolness and air as anything else, at length pull'd off her mask and went to the sideboard; where, eyed and mark'd out by a gentleman in a very. It was very slow going. It took longer than I thought, but I got to my agent’s office around 3:45. I shut off the truck, and I went up to the office door. Dam it was locked up already. I knocked on the door about fifty times, but no answer. I grabbed my cell phone and tried calling, but just got the answering machine, telling me that the office is closed, and what the business hours were. I just hate them fucking machines.I had noticed when I pulled up that her car is still in her parking. Denial of myself of my essence never feels healthy. This generous gift of yours has been I blessing. It has been so liberating being Andrea. I feel released and I feel so very happy."I could see that she was taking this all in, listening as if how we would live our lives together depended on understanding and integration of my special nature.Sheepishly she asked me the question that I knew was coming."Do you prefer being Andrea?" What I prefer is expressing all that I am which makes me my.