It wasn’t always easy, and at times we were almost torn apart. But through some miracle of fate and circumstance, we were still here and our love ...ad grown and matured into something truly beautiful, and I had been surprised time and time again by just how wonderful sharing my life with someone could be. Your love, and the way our hearts fit together, even as we continued to push and challenge each other continue to amaze me. I had come to realize that while not always easy, loving you. As much aswriting the details of my new situation helps me sort things in my mind,I just can't focus enough at the moment to catalog each moment.I have to thank anyone who reads this and believes me; it helps me keepreality in my world. I know I wouldn't believe all of this so I don'tblame anyone who doesn't.Last night my new boyfriend cooked supper, stir fry, it was great. Thislittle change did have some perks I guess. He seemed to notice that I'dbeen "off" for the last day or so, I just told. I moved out and rented a small two bedroom house about six blocks away.I let the twins know that they could come any time, no matter what. I really didn’t have much to move so the house was, for the most part, empty. It had been a few weeks since I moved into the house. It was about one a.m. and I was having vivid dreams of my now ex-wife. I got up, walked to the bathroom and was about to take things in hand (you know what I mean), when I heard girls' laughter from my back yard. I opened the. As punishment, he had me walk into the bathroom on all fours, then take a squeeze of toothpaste and rub it on my asshole. It burned, but at the same time, it felt kind of good. As the sensation wore off, he asked me, "What's the nastiest thing you've ever had inside you?" I told him probably just a dildo, and he said he wanted to change that. He told me to get in the kitchen and describe what was around. He stopped me when I got to "mop." He had me lube up the mop handle and slowly push it.