The only comfort I could find was Oliver was working as hard as I was. Helena was having us do a hybrid wedding with the traditions from Earth blendin... with the traditions of their world. My nights were no better as my shock and excitement had been replace with fear and doubt. Lara slept next to my bed as I couldn't sleep without at least two or more nightmares causing me to scream in my sleep. After the second time of her running into my room ready to kill, she slept next to me as to help wake. I found it amusing, yet when you are still involved with a circle of friends, the information does not stay secret for long. I didn't involve myself with the conversation and kept relatively quite about the knowledge knowing there was nothing I could do about it or her. Yes, it did sting, but it also gave me a fit of anger that I hadn't been with anyone since we separated. Finding this knowledge almost freed me of this and I felt it was almost a mission to fuck that night.Eventually, the. Everything that happened the past few years had been piling up. I must have been a terrible person in another life to owe this much karma.I went to my room before I got too emotional and turned on some music. I did that a lot when I felt like I needed to cry. I still missed Sabrina so much that the feeling was like a knife in my chest all the time. Sometimes I could hold it in and sometimes I couldn’t. I think they knew what it meant when I turned on music and closed my door, but they were. “I think about you a lot when I do it. Do you remember that one night when you came to my apartment?”I did. It wasn’t a night I liked to think about. I had had a panic attack and fled her apartment, making up some half-baked story about why I had to leave and barging in on her while she was taking a shower to tell her.“You probably don’t know that I had hoped you would join me in the shower. That you would soap up your hands and run them all over my body. When I touch myself and think about.