..I caught myself doing it; going back and forth in that sissyhaze of self-doubt and questioning.At lunch, I decided to eat alone cause I had to think... and my throatsituation helped to keep people away from me thinking I had bronchitis orwhatever. I went to the park - a beautiful late fall day in the city, alittle chill in the air and the buzz of life all around. Then ablessing: HR called on my cell and said to take the rest of the day offsince I wasn't feeling well and they didn't want me. And--over all--it just was endlessly amusing to me.But, I didn't want to be labelled a weirdo or thought of as a not-normal person. I wanted to keep my friends and fit in with them and have things go back to the way they were before. So, I stopped doing it when they were around. Instead, I waited until I was alone and then I went to one of the few haunts the dogs tended to inhabit. I usually found them across the culvert behind the turn-of-the-century boot store on Old Cannon Road. I would. Meine Tage verliefen immer nach dem gleichen Schema ab. Aufstehen um5.30 Uhr, Essen um 06.00 Uhr und fertig machen bis 06.30 Uhr, dannAusbildung mit den Gefangenen Nummer 68 bis 75 und nach der AusbildungBetreuung der gefangenen Frauen bis zum Essen und Schlafen gehen.Danach eigenes Essen und ins Bett, bis sp?testes 23.00 Uhr.Man funktionierte wie ein Uhrwerk, das nur durch Angst vor eigeneStrafe angetrieben wurde. Bei den Neuen gab es kaum noch Widerst?nde,gegen ihre Gefangenschaft und selbst. .. cock. In fact, Ray’s still a virgin, strictly speaking, after more than a decade of marriage to him. It’s not my doing, trust me. I’m not into that scene. I would love to be fucked and good, penetrated, if you will, but Ray just ... won’t go there, not with his dick. He won’t hump me at all. I’ve been faithful as much as I can, but it’s actually worse than I let on.“Otherwise, he’s a wonderful husband. Attentive, loving, caring, spoils me rotten, does his best, within his limited means, to.