The wedding was a simple affair on the club grounds. I had met Carl weeks before, when I was still a man. I hadn't noticed how good looking he was - t...en. I wondered why such a handsome black man would want a white wife. Now, I was seeing him as my life-mate, the father of my child (children?) and the man who was going to deflower me. I was frightened and excited about what was to come. That night, for the first time, I felt the weight of a man upon me. I was so scared! I parted my legs, so he. "Any time you are." His cool demeanor heated for just a moment. Then he put his hand on my back again. It was like he enjoyed taking advantage of casual touch as much as he was going to enjoy sexual touch. I let him lead me out to the line of hired cars waiting for the business leaders. He ushered me into one. "The Federal building," he said, naming where we lived. "Front entrance." I always came in the back. Force of habit, I supposed, from being one of the undesirables of society. We rode. She leaned her head against my shoulder. We sat there for a while like that, as I slowly put my hand on her shoulder. In my mind, there was a great dilemma. If I pull her towards me, will that be considered as an act of perversion, me taking advantage of her? I had to hold her, however, and as my arm went over her shoulder, she hid her face in my chest and hugged me loosely. We were sitting side by side, and I just stayed like that, for as long as I remember. I loved having her so close to me.. "What would you be looking for?" I asked."I thought we'd try for the yearbook look to begin with but instead of having a sentence from each student they could give as much, or as little detail of their hobbies and interests as they like," he said.'Boring, ' I thought and he must have picked up on it."I know, not the most exciting thing in the world but we need to get it past the Principal before we can go on to other, better things," explained Mr. Jones.I had the sudden image of applying.