Heather chimed in on occasion, but mostly it was just Julie and I. She was very free talking about sex and I found myself opening up to her about my h...sband and my sex life since his death. Maybe I was just a little drunk, but I found myself opening up to her about my trying to be in control with the boys and how last night I let myself get picked up by a man who took charge of me instead. I'd never been able to talk to somebody so freely about sex.It was also very strange because both women. She agreed and told me to come near Sarjapur lake. We met there and she hugged me. I held her hip during that. I got an immediate erection which I think she noticed and smiled and got back. We were walking on the lakeside and she held my hand and was talking.The thing about elder women is that they take full control and domination which I like so much. She told me I am chubby and cute. She could hug me instead of her teddy bear and sleep. I told her even now she can. She smiled and hugged me. Well, she never, ever, ever, had to know about that.I wish I could tell you that everything for my wedding was going exactlyhow I imagined it, or at least how I'd begun to imagine it since Istarted living life as Alana, but there was one big piece missing.About a month after I moved to New York, Monica and I got into a hugefight. She finally blew up at me about the Bryce thing in a way that I'dbeen bracing for since my first day as Alana, when I found out the truthabout Ali and Bryce. Things. "Yes Monique, please close the door and have a seat." Am I in trouble?" I could feel and hear the fear in my own voice as Isat down."Why would you be in trouble? Have you done something deservingpunishment?" No Ma'am. It's just that I'm not scheduled for my therapy session untiltomorrow," I answered."Monique, remember when you filled out the questionnaire the first day?" Yes Ma'am," I dropped my eyes to the floor. but her hand reached gentlyacross the desk to lift my face back up."Please do me.