I felt his eyes traveling over me, drinking me in, and felt adistinct thrill of feminine pride in the knowledge that, yes, he damnedwell had to have l...ked what he saw."Are you going to just sit there?" I asked him teasingly. "Come overhere."He didn't have to be asked twice. He stood up and began to approach. Mystomach leapt as he drew near, with an intoxicating mixture of fear andexcitement. There was, of course, no turning back now, even if I wantedto. He drew nearer still, near enough for me. ! Please, can you forgive me? ... and I know I have some real work to do to get you back completely and I am prepared to do whatever you want me to do. Even ... fuck, I don't even want to say it ... even if it means giving you up and not fighting your divorce terms. You decide. You're in the driver's seat. Tell me. Want me dead? Just say the word and I'll eat my revolver."Ruth reflected for a bit and then said coolly, "I want you dead. But, please do it somewhere where I won't have to clean up. It's liable to be a mess."I walked over to my truck, looking for the holes. I found them. "Through the side of the bed," I said. I looked into the bed. "And on the inside." I looked across the bed. "And they stopped at the liner on this side."He took pictures of that while Helen's handyman, Steve, removed the bar screwed across the door. "As soon as the sheriff department said I could, I got in there and cleaned up as much as I could, Dan," he said.I didn't know that. I was relieved. Still, I. It was easier than telling. It was all my fault. Don’t make me tell you why it happened, Ben.”Suddenly, an embarrassed giggle escaped her. She moved closer to Ben and added, “I might not have to. Christine will. My bolshy sister loved you. She never forgave me for our breaking up, and she losing you when you stopped coming to our house.”Erika’s comment about Christine introduced a change in mood. It made it easy for Ben not to probe further into the hurtful past. So, he smiled and said, “I.