She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack... beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter, ' she said. 'Just get out.'Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N. I heard you plain as day talking to you little friends about trying toruin our party."Billy knew he was in trouble. He planned on hearing it from his parentsbut the pictures would have been worth it. Now he was going to begrounded until he had gray hair, and all for nothing. "Please don't telldad. We didn't get anything, so no harm no foul, right?" Oh you wish little brother. I had plans for tonight, but I think thatthey might have just been replaced. If you want to join us so bad then Ithink. .. that was so embarrassing; if I hadn’t been on the verge of throwing up, I would have been mortified.”“Well, what’s more embarrassing, throwing up in front of me, or pissing in front of me?”“Definitely the throwing up,” she said. “In other situations, the pissing like that might be arousing. If I didn’t feel so rat shit, I would get you to fuck me right now; but I’m worried I would throw up again, all over you ... that would be too terrible for me to consider.”“I don’t want our first time. .. uh, I broke the rule.Stud! really liked the guy, which was cool at first, cause I was a little worried. He didn't get out a lot and I wasn't sure how he'd react to a stranger being in the house. But Stud! just wagged his tail and sniffed the guy and generally made it known that he liked being scratched behind the ears, so Dave (my boyfriend) scratched him.Later, me and Dave started getting down to what we really wanted. He's a good looking guy too, not really big or anything, like 5'8 maybe.