Love,TomDear Tom, SundayYou're probably mad at me. Bob and I spent last Wednesday in Laramie visiting friends. When I opened your letters I felt like ...rying. I'll try to make up for not being here when you called. Call me as soon as you get this, okay? I'm sending you some Polaroids to help you not forget me.Oh, did we ever have a wild time last night! We spent the night with the brother of my old college roommate. He's 19 and his wife Karen is not quite eighteen. Merlin fucked me once a few. My hand left her breast and slipped around her waist, where I stroked her back. She pressed on my body and pushed me back till she was straddling my lap. Our lips broke contact as she reached for the bottom of her shirt and began to pull it over her head. I took her hands in mine and stopped her. She looked down at me in puzzlement. ‘I … I’ve never done this before,’ I stammered, ‘I … I’m still a…’ my face felt like flame as I tried to force the words out. She leaned down and whispered to me.. You know they'll do everything they can." Oh, Jackie. Hold me. I told her it was time to explore. I even gave her condoms for God's sake!" Mom. Come on. Giving her condoms isn't going to make someone rape her. It's not your fault. You didn't know anything was going to happen. Nobody could have known."The nurse at the admitting desk got Mom's attention and told her she needed to fill out some forms. She asked if Mary had ever been admitted to the hospital."I work here on the fifth floor." That. The first time I caressed black skin, it felt like a Corinthian luxury I shouldn't be able to afford. I craved it more strongly than Carrie Bradshaw craved Manolo Blahnik shoes. That phrase, “Once you go black, you never go back” is all about the feeling and texture of the skin. I had the socially acceptable explanation for my black craving. I used that paucity-of-available-white-partners rationale to explain my relationships with black men for several years. A white she male past forty is.