10.30 arrived and I rang the bell. Lorna opened and I heard the strains of "The Stripper" in the distance as I entered the hallway. Lorna mouthed a "w...w" as I ran past her and opened the lounge door. After the initial shock, I received rapturous applause and cat-calls from the ten and a half women (I include Morgan in this). Off I went.I kept everything in place for the whole of "The Stripper" and only when the second number, which I knew but couldn't place, came on did I start on my overall. More men smiled as they walked by, carrying drinks to their partners and wives. Even a couple of teenage boys openly stared until mom caught their eye. They hurried away, embarrassed at being caught.Mom would giggle quietly when the men checked her out. Often asking me if I saw this or that one looking at her. How old did I think that one was? Every once in a while, she would point out a female that I should take a gander at.When mom thought she had enough sun on her front, she put sunscreen on. I first walked to the other end of the house and put the keys I would need to release myself in the bedroom that was furthest away. I then returned to the bedroom I got dressed in. I secured myself with ankle cuffs and then secured these with a chain to the radiator in the corner of the room. I had purchased a neat little lock I found that was set on a timer, which would release the chain from the radiator at a pre-determined time. I next wrapped my legs above and below my knee and around my. I am utterly trapped saying and doing things just like before. I wonderhow many times I have been through this cycle? Can it ever really havebeen said to have a beginning, since it will not have an end, as far as Ican tell? My own life is become an endless loop, and I can never be free. I havetried so hard to do or say something, anything I didn't say before, andfailing. I literally cannot learn from my mistakes, but am forced towatch myself make them again and again and again. Sometimes, I.