It had just occurred to me that I needed to get myself ready also. Up until then, I'd been more concerned about how all of this was going to play out ...or Kate. Now, I needed to make myself presentable for Eileen, and to concentrate on the fact that I'd soon be spending time with her in the darkened movie theater. For the past six weeks, since the day of my birthday party, I'd been thinking about Eileen. This was going to be my first date ever, and now it was my turn to start worrying about all. Half an hour into my workout I had built up a light sweat and felt good. I took a break and a bottle of fresh orange juice to the chaise. It was a little hard for my taste, but comfortable enough. I was facing the wardrobe. Why was it there? What was in it? I got to my feet again, tried the door, but it was locked. I looked around for a key. Nothing. None of my business, clearly, but I jiggled the handle a bit anyway, and tried to prise the door open just enough to see in. Which is what I was. She finished her coffee and headed towards the door, I followed behind her for good bye kisses and to lock the door behind her. As she stepped out she asked if I would check in on her son to make sure he was OK. I told her I would and kissed her goodbye. I wasn't ready to stay up just yet and headed to the bedroom. As I passed the boys room I tapped lightly on his door and called his name, he didn't respond so I opened the door just to check on him. He must have passed out after taking his. I lookedthough my old photo albums, looking at my past and thinking of my soon-to-be old life. I suppose it was partly my body and the new hormones, but I wascrying so hard. After a few hours of feeling down and sobbing, I decided onwhat to do with myself. I came to the realization that if I was going to be likethis, I had to make sure everything was right. The first thing that I did was established as new identity. A little workon the Internet a few phone calls to some "friends" and in a few.