I wanted to explain why we had let them in without fighting and assure them that they were welcome to join us. On the other hand, I wanted them disarm...d before they moved into the assembly area where they would board the trains to be taken for a meal.I started my talk out with, "Welcome, Men, to the first day of your new lives. I need to give you a quick rundown on what we can give you and what we want from you in exchange. Roughly put, when you stepped through that door from the outside, you. "As I said, I was jealous... jealous that Shirley might turn you into some sort of effeminate house-husband--you know, like some of the other guys. That hasn't happened--at least, not yet. You sometimes look lost in thought, and we all know you are thinking of her, but you're still the same guy. It's quite obvious that you're happy. I've never seen you this way before and I'm happy for you. I just wish that I could find a chick like Shirley..." Shirley is NOT a 'chick, '" I said, almost. What the fuck kind of bullshit is—?"He's laughing."What the fuck?" I repeat angrily.He tries to stop but can't completely douse his grin. "I'm sorry," he says, but his amused expression doesn't sell it.I scramble away from him and get to my feet, pulling my pants up and pointing an accusing finger at him. "Fuck your sorry!" I snap."Frankie," he says gently, standing again. "Come on." No!" I shout, taking another step back and shaking a fist at him. "Just get out, Gerard. If you're gonna go,. .but..." But what, Honey. You can tell me. You can tell me anything." But its so stupid, Mom and it makes me feel like an idiot when I thinkabout it." You're not an idiot, Honey. Now tell me what you're thinking about andmaybe I can help." Its just that...well, I think I miss having a penis." How so?"I sat up on the bed, finished my cigarette and put it out in the ashtray."Its just that when I was a boy, dressing up in your clothes and smokinglike you used to be such a big turn-on for me,.