. okay, a lot unorthodox . . . but I’m quite prepared to stand beside you! Meet someone, and fall in love? Already have! Got a mirror? You’ll see ...im staring back at you! Get married? Shit, my experiences with marriage are no hell! My mother married my Dad, and where the fuck is she now? Goddamned if I can tell you! My point is, I need you to always be my Dad. But after last night, I need you as a lover, as well! If you think I’m gonna give that up without a fight, your shorts are too tight!”,. I called my wife in advance, who told me that she is out with the kids for a kitty party and not expected before 1900H.I entered our apartment using my keys and went to our bedroom and had a nice hot shower, followed with some long pending catching up some of TV slots, I wanted to see.as I walked back to the bed room, I noticed some movement in the wet area of the pantry/kitchen and was naturally worried.Keeping my mobile phone on hand, I cautiously moved towards the wet area to find who had. As I watched, his lips darkened to a deep red and eyeshadow appeared. "Never mind that now," I told him as I bundled him into the passenger seat. The car Richard had imagined for me was a beat-up wreck, but I managed to start it first time. I floored the gas and squealed into the street. The car rang as something slammed into the side of it and Richard screamed. Looking over at him I saw his father banging on the car window. Richard cowered in fear, but I wasted no time in putting us both out. ”“OK, good, I don’t--”I stopped Sam with a hug around the waist. I looked her in the eye. “I masturbate all the time.”“What?” Alex popped up her head. “Really? How often is ‘all the time’? Once a day?”“I try.” I shrugged. “Ten a week? That sounds about right.”“Wow!” Alex scrolled down. “That sounds like a lot.”“Well, I’m not your age anymore.” I gave a crooked frown and Alex’s eyes went wide. She was giggling. Max put the first boot in my hand.“It’s wet,” Sam complained.“I just wore it.