It’s a completely stupid way to cope; I’ll be the first to admit that. But I will also admit that it worked unfortunately. Like any other addict...on, soon your normal ‘fix’ isn’t enough. You have to cut more or sometimes find something else to hurt yourself with to feel the same effects. It’s completely fucked up. I’m lucky in that I didn’t actually get that far. I did stop before it got too serious. I mean, I am aware that hurting yourself in the first place regardless of how or where. "Go away Melissa. It?s goddam one AM in the morning and I?m notputting up with your shit," Penelope barked through the door."I know you arranged it so Silvia couldn?t come down here so we couldbe together," Melissa wailed."You?re dreaming Melissa. I?m down here conducting an investigationwith another member of my team," Penelope countered, instantlyregretting getting into a conversation with the drunken woman on theother side of the door."Silvia told me. Those other two assholes got exactly. She noticed something else about Jeff as well. He had a confidence now that he had lacked before. He had always been a good-looking kid, but he had a shy streak that manifested itself around girls, even Allison. Now, though, that bashfulness had disappeared completely, replaced by a quiet, inner strength. It was actually quite sexy.She was about to try to clear her mind of that thought, but then realized, what the hell. The old Lissa wouldn't dare think about things like that, but the new Lissa. Eventually, the road to Bowman would attract road agents again, so I would be able to work in that direction in the future.Well, my guess about the opportunities on the road to Bowman had proved correct, and I was home late on Thursday afternoon. Martha was surprised to see me back so soon, but she commiserated when I told her of the lack of activity on the Bowman road. As far as I was concerned, she was happy to see me, and she verified that we were still in business for church on Sunday.I.