I can't believe I was lucky enough to be invited.''OMG, that was intense. I've just had to quit because it was getting seriously addictive and I didn'... know how far I might go. It's not something I regret but be careful girls.''I never knew what they meant about the game being its own reward but I do now.''It's my 40th today and that means I'll never be able to take up that invitation. I love my husband and k**s and couldn't risk damaging our family but today I'm feeling real regret.'Back on. I kind of wantedto submit to her, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. It was aline, I wasn't willing to cross. I figured it was like my homosexualityfantasy. I tried it in real life once, but I couldn't bring myself todo it. In my fantasies I wanted it, when it was in front of me I foundit repellant.I climbed into bed and had trouble going to sleep. It took me nearlytwo hours to do so.The whole next day, I went out of my way to avoid Marisa. I tried toavoid her eyes, I walked in different. Weil Mum und Dad nie geheiratet hatten, gab es auch keine lange Scheidung und um den Unterhalt für meine Schwester und mich hat er sich natürlich auch gedrückt. Selbst das Jugendamt konnte ihn nicht mehr ausfindig machen.Mum hatte es von nun an noch schwerer sich um uns zu kümmern und ich machte es ihr auch nicht gerade einfach. Mitten in der Pubartät gab ich ihr und meiner Schwester die Schuld daran, dass Dad abgehauen ist. Während es Mum schon mit Marianne sehr schwer hatte, machte auch ich. "Jessica" she said pointing over to her "is a new member of this class.Please make her feel welcome."Jessica soon realised that many eyes were on her. None seemed to hint atrecognition. She merely smiled."Bit nervous?" said Rachel. "No fear, we're your friends."This was what Jessica needed. Despite the need to keep quiet in class,they chatted away quietly if possible.When break came and they were allowed outside, Miss Abbot stopped Jessicaand called her over."What is it Miss Abbot?" she.