At first I had chores to do around the house, girl-type chores. Like helping with cooking meals and cleaning the house and Dot began to teach me to se.... But as time went on, I was relieved of my duties. "Your job is to look pretty," Dot/Dolly would tell me when I tried to help. My increasing weakness seemed to please my kindly captors and sometimes I feigned being too weak for a chore I did not want to do anymore. Such behavior was rewarded by having that chore removed from my list of duties,. Over coffee, juice, and real New York City bagels, Lani says, "so, in the interest of getting to know each other better we thought that maybe Tom and Luke could go off and do whatever guys do today and Melissa and myself could go walk by the harbor and perhaps do some shopping?" Tom adds to me "you mentioned something about being a bit of an audiophile, my father is seriously into audio so I got a list of a few shops and thought we could go check them out." You and I nod, "sounds like a good. "Miriam! Don't do that to yourself! It's wicked!" Rebekah yelled at her."But Mother, I'm a virgin, and I feel so excited when I see certain men." That doesn't excuse self-abuse, Miriam. You're my daughter, and we don't allow that kind of behavior yet. No touching that part of you until you marry Joseph." But, I was thinking of Joseph!" Were you? Well, you won't have to think of him in a month, when you marry him. Can't you wait that long?" In the meantime, how do I handle this desire for him? I. Perhaps I am going on a bit, but I am trying to help others understandthe mix of emotions that were going through my mind in those early days.Many times I tried to reason things out, making lists of the pros andcons in my head, but each time I did that I always gave up and fell backon one justification for all of my actions. Put simply, anything thatfelt that good, can't be wrong.What we were doing was not for everybody, hell for a long time I didn'tthink it was right for me. But, on those.