The air's so stagnant and thick that I'd probably be stuck in a cloud of my own stink otherwise.Then again, maybe that's blood and not sweat. Feels a ...ittle thick for sweat. Guess it doesn't really matter. It all burns.Speaking of burning - I know it's summer, but this heat is fucking ridiculous. Maybe I should demand to see someone about it when I get to the pearly gates. It's bad enough that I'm laying here dying, but do I have to simmer in my own juices while I'm at it?Or maybe I'm going to. As it happened a new coach was hired and we saw him during Monday at the gymnasium, he came in, one hand griping a basketball and another a large stick - hmm… he was in his 40s, tall and wide shoulders, heavy legs and strong chest - he was black with dark chocolate skin, his head was shaved and had a big black mustache under his lips, his eyes were small and dark “Ok boys, I’m your new coach,Matt, but you will call me by my nick name - Mato!” his voice was deep and throaty, it was commanding.. . Anything taboo ... But time moves on ... I mean, twenty years ago, not many girls even admitted to being lesbians ... I mean, I never came out when I was modelling, but I’ve always been a lesbian ... I always knew it ... I think when I did the softcore people thought I was doing that because it was like, less extreme, than doing stuff with guys - erect cocks and all that ... But I loved it ... Getting a free hit with another hot girl ... Getting paid for it! Keepin’ my little secret...”Jenny. It never did come up with any matches before I cancelled it. Am I really that difficult? That different? Perhaps. But I won’t allow my ego to convince me that’s true. In a world of over 6 billion people, I cannot believe there isn’t one who would love every part of me. My kindness, and need to stand up for what I believe is right, my tenacity, my strength, my quirks, my stubbornness, my desire to be in control, my love of small things, my wonder at the miracle that is life itself, my dark.