I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, �...�Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a. I got a chance to take a good look at her. She had been good-looking at one time. She had a nice ass, a set of whoppers for tits. She wasn't fat, just getting a little big around the middle. Her neat trim ass gave away the fact that she must have had a killer body at one time, before she let herself go, and of course she still had those big 42D tits.She had long brown hair and a nice creamy skin tone, further evidence that this had been somebody's prize baby doll at one time. One of these. " My mom thinks we're a couple since you're the first girl I've everbrought to Sunday dinner. My mom's old fashion that way." I think it's sweet of her." You do?" Yes I do, what's wrong if I like being part of a family?" But she thinks it's more than that, she practically has us married." I see your point, I don't think I'm ready for marriage, are you?"Mario took Brenda's hand in his and said, "To the right girl I am."Brenda was at a loss for words, had Mario just asked her to marry him ordid. "Come in, come in. All ready for some fun?" Yes, a bit uneasy, but, yes," Alexis tells her.She was dressed in a short dress that was somewhat transparent as she asked us to go ahead and undress before we went in. She was particularly watching me as I lowered my denims and pulled down my briefs."Mmm, nice, Charlie," she said softly as she reached down and took my cock in her hand, squeezed gently, then stroked me even harder. "Yes, I think you two will be fun, come meet everyone," and she led us.