I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a shit"..... When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.The Stuttering CatA teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students."Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat. Although I’d known from an early age that directors always shot all the scenes set in one location or on one stage set, I hadn’t realized quite how the acting would bounce from one part of the whole story to another. Which was why Judy was always explaining which section we were about to shoot, so the actors could adopt the correct persona.Next up was the Tyler and Evie bedroom scene. In line with the story, a newly love-struck Tyler acted a little distracted as he fucked his girlfriend – Judy. Jane blindfolded Melanie and then used her handcuffs, so she was powerless unless her slits were of the dreaded 'snapping' variety. Melanie, growing tired of waiting, said, "Let's see what you're packing." Jane untied the blindfold then slammed her large toy on the bedside table. Her eight slits were covered by a bush so dense it was trimmed by roadside cleanup crews.Jane waved her imposing tool in Melanie's face and said in a phony, deep baritone, "Call me Big Ben." I'll call you 'Biggest Ben'. “Unlike here, the water was dirty ... grey-ish brown ... it just looked nasty.”“Cabana-Lizzy!” Donna called. “Oh, Cabana-Concubine ... fetch us some snacks, won’t you?”“Yes, Milady. Anything to drink?”Donna leaned her head over, looking to Jason.“Drink?”“Yeah, just a plain Sprite if you would.”“A Sprite, and a Dr. Pepper for me, Cabana-Lizzy.”Leaning back, she said, “Any reason you’re avoiding the alcohol, my love?”“Not in the mood. Now, we get back to the suite, I’m gonna get baked out of my.