A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. “That ought to be obvious,” he responded,...wiping ashes off his coat. “The first thing we’re gonna do is get the Goddamned brakes fixed on our fire truck.THE IRATE CUSTOMERFor all of you out there who’ve had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It’s a classic! In tribute to those ‘special’ customers we all love! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver. The kettle bleeping brought her attention back to her needing a drink, she moved from the computer to the kitchen and absent minded made the coffee, taking it back to the desk to re read the new mail yet again. ?What the hell? she thought, ?you only live once? and replied ?Love to chat if you are as sane as you say you are? adding a smiley face to the text. Within seconds the familiar beep of the incoming message made her jump and she pensively opened the inbox.?HI Again, great to get your. “You’ve got an erection again.” Chuckling, Steven said, “Well, not exactly ‘again’. More like ‘still’. Do you have any idea how hard, pun intended, it is to run around the house with a hard-on.” This crazy thought of Steven started to run through my head. I could picture it bouncing and swaying as he ran down the stairs. A little laugh slipped out. “No, I’m serious. Do you know how many sharp looking knives you have down stairs. Oh and every time I closed a drawer I was a little nervous that. I had bought her all sorts of vibrators and dildos in the past and after a brief spell of reluctance she used them more and more; but this was something very special. The evening had started with a lovely meal at her favourite restaurant and she was just a little tipsy. I had given her a few trinkets, nothing of real value."Thank you for a lovely evening," she said with a slight slur."Evenings not over yet," I teased and kissed her.I could see the taxi driver's eyes looking at us in his mirror.