”Allison turned around, smiled at me, and said, “I see you found my husband’s old videotapes. Which hole would you like?”I replied, “All thr...e and often.”Allison smiled and said, “Okay. Where?”I smiled and asked, “Would my bed be okay?”Allison said, “Sure. Will you be filming it?”I asked, “Can I?”Allison smiled at me again and said, “Anything you want. I assume that you will keep blackmailing me until you get what you want.” then she laughed.I took her hand and led her to my house and up to my. "Dexter's eyes were wider, the bright blue orbs darting from my chest to where I still held his hand. "Yeah ... okay..." I hate to say it this way, but ... this has to be our secret, Dex ... you can't tell anyone what we did ... It must stay between the four of us." Okay ... uh ... between ... between the four of us?"I realized I'd included Jackie in my count. "I'll get to that. For now ... only you and I and Kira can know about this, alright? I don't like it that way, Dex ... I really don't.. Strangely, the people who tell me to lighten up and be positive are often the people who tell me to be myself. What if I'm just sad by nature? By acting happy and positive I'm not really being myself. I guess "be positive" and "be yourself" are just lines people memorize. Often when a friend gives advice, he or she just regurgitates lines from Oprah or Dr Phil. People just say things. They don't usually think about what they say.I'm sick of going to the mall. Whenever my friends ring me, they. " Mr. Benson, how are you tonight?"A look of surprise briefly crossed his face."How do you know me?" He asked."It's my job," I said. "I have to take this wine over to Ms. Alpin and then I'd like to come back and talk to you if you don't mind."Mr. Benson studied me for a minute. I could tell that I worried him but he didn't seem to be afraid of me. For a moment I thought he might know who I was but I didn't see how he could. It had to be something else about me that was bothering him."Oh, okay..