" This was horrifying. I should have known something was wrong when he wasnice to me, no one as cool looking as Glenn was nice to me. There wasnothing...I could do. "I'll be waiting downstairs," he said, taking the clothes from thedresser and tossing then at my feet. I cringed away from him and so helpme, holding my knees like a scared little girl. Tears ran down my face has I took off my pants. I laid out the pinkdiaper, the thick flannel material looking enormous. My small handsshook as I. Well one day in fall, early November, during recess I managed to get away from anyone without getting beaten up or teased by anyone. I snuck off to the side of the building, in a little nook between the brick wall and the brick fence that separated the front of the school from the playground/lot. I wanted to finish reading Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, which of course we all remember as being one of the most horrifying books that everyone pretends isn't going to traumatize the fuck out of. Was I just thinking too much?I needed to get a little perspective here. Despite all the supposedly fabulous men I had dated, I had never really had a boyfriend.Shocking, isn't it?What was the value in having a boyfriend? I could get a quality date whenever I wanted, to do whatever I wanted, wherever I wanted. I could have as little or as much sex as I wanted, and whatever kind I wanted. I could have complete control over any situation.A boyfriend would feel entitled to make demands on my time,. The job wasn’t easy. It took up almost all of my time. But that was fine for me, I really had no family or friends and it had been years since I had a girlfriend. It got lonely from time to time but you and I spent so much time together I had fallen very deeply in love with you. You never showed any signs of feeling anything for me, but I didn’t care, whether you realized it we did play an important part in each other’s lives. It was enough for me. Well, that and the occasional prostitute. It.